This Idiot

Water rolls down hill

2011-08-27T18:42:00.002-04:00

This idiot doesn't understand why the subway is closed. I am trying to explain to him that we're going to have to swim for it.

Grass is Legal

2011-07-09T17:23:00.002-04:00

Dog-friendly patches of Central Park make one happy (and hot) puppy out of this idiot who enjoys rolling and decorating his chain.

Promoted!

2011-06-27T16:50:00.002-04:00

This idiot was promoted to managing summer intern after the Kittyot was busted for eating mail.

Art he can pee on

2011-03-18T12:14:00.001-04:00

More than the birds like to chirp in the spring, this idiot loves to contemplate street art. If he lifts his leg on it, he approves.

Wet Suit

2011-03-16T08:26:00.001-04:00

This idiot thinks he's a seal pup when he gets wet. I'm guessing that seal pups don't stink as much?

Harlem Days

2011-03-14T14:12:00.001-04:00

Back when we lived in Harlem, this idiot used to sleep in the tub. Hey, don't laugh, he never, and I mean NEVER, got hit by a stray bullet.

Don't tell any of the guys

2011-03-07T10:12:00.000-05:00

...but I like yogurt.

Scared of a Shadow

2010-12-01T09:08:00.000-05:00

This was after he ate seagull poop. Ugh.

Jailbreak

2010-10-26T08:48:00.002-04:00

I know I've posted this image before but now it has a story to go with it. A story about teamwork. Yes, these two adventure-hounds used teamwork to get the door open so they could go run around the hall and scare my neighbors. Too bad the door slammed behind them and the super had to let them in with the master key.

Lapping up the fall

2010-10-08T08:29:00.000-04:00

This idiot is loving the cooler weather.

S.O.S.

2010-10-06T08:24:00.001-04:00

This idiot is worried about the under-developed human standing behind him holding a shedding blade.

Wolf Silhouette

2010-09-21T19:26:00.000-04:00

Nose to Meet Ya!

2010-09-20T22:31:00.001-04:00

This idiot likes to greet (and scare the bejeezus out of) strangers on the sidewalk by walking up behind them and sticking his nose in their hands.

Nine is a Magic Number!

2010-09-16T18:54:00.001-04:00

This Idiot is a distinguished and mature nine years old this month. I love that he still runs around like a spazzy pup.

Busted

2010-09-15T08:54:00.001-04:00

I went to start my girl's bath after dinner and this is what I found.

I Hate You Too

2010-09-07T11:12:00.000-04:00

Mishka Goes On-Camera

2010-09-04T18:00:00.008-04:00

This idiot's dream of becoming a reality star will tank like a stone in the ocean if he can't get comfortable on (or under the) camera. He should take a note from the Kittyot.

Fish Hound

2010-08-28T09:43:00.001-04:00

This Idiot is dreaming. So is this one.

Hold Your Nose (and hide your plants)

2010-08-27T00:09:00.004-04:00

Look out, this idiot is yawning. So much for the lilies.

Notice the Kittyot has an eye closed - if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

Dopeful Thinking

2010-08-21T15:55:00.000-04:00

This idiot thinks the Kittyot wants to play.

He doesn't.

Now accepting captions...

2010-08-19T18:37:00.004-04:00

Here's what I've learned. Cat people don't want to look at photos of dogs, and dog people freaking hate cats. So, the Kittyot will get his own blog.

And the crowd goes wild.

Bathtime for Kittyot

2010-08-17T22:34:00.003-04:00

Purring after the ordeal.

Wading around in the ordeal. (He showed no signs of panic, draw your own conclusions).

Idiot and Kittyot

2010-08-17T00:35:00.001-04:00

Waiting for uncle Dave on a Friday night.

Blue Dog

2010-08-10T20:38:00.001-04:00

Ode to Hef.

Everybody out of the pool!

2010-08-09T19:21:00.001-04:00

Show off.

Walk on by

2010-08-09T19:16:00.000-04:00

Where's the Chicken, B*tch!?

2010-05-01T13:16:00.006-04:00

I get him into the tub with diced chicken and cheese. He expects more when he gets out.

Good boy.

Trying to rub off the clean. He's got a good chance of it on that mat.

FOR ADULT AUDIENCES ONLY

2010-04-28T22:43:00.002-04:00

Gross. Get a room. Preferably not my room.

Blood Bath & Beyond

2010-04-18T22:44:00.002-04:00

Bed Bath & Beyond the Bounds of Decency used to be a pet-friendly place but now they incarcerate pets in "Canine Cart" shopping carts complete with yellow hazard tape and an old pillow. Your dog won't sit like this Idiot and be rolled around like an invalid? No new toilet seat for you, pal!

Cute idea for a Shiba or smaller, but for Shepherds, Rotties, and (gulp) Great Danes? What!?

Oh sure, the Idiot looks peaceful enough in these shots but believe me, he had his overgrown claws on the jump trigger the whole time. And I don't blame him. Especially when that creature behind him donned sunglasses and insisted on an playing an over-priced up-ended bamboo wastebasket like a bongo.

Liver Lips

2010-04-13T22:29:00.000-04:00

Good thing they haven't invented scented blogs yet.

Tarmacking

2010-04-12T22:25:00.001-04:00

He's out of the pool and the water is pooling at his feet but this Idiot still isn't shaking.

Oh, look out, here's the wind up.

Come on in, the water's totally disgusting!

2010-04-11T22:09:00.002-04:00

This Idiot perched on the side of the 'pool' like a rodent before overcoming his fear and plunging to the 18 inch depths. This was over at the Warren Street dog run.

I tease him a lot but he's a fine looking animal. We get stopped about 2 x per block on average by people wanting to know what he is. Isn't it obvious? He's an Idiot!

Wednesday Again

2010-04-07T08:39:00.000-04:00

This Idiot loves Wednesday.

Thunder Cat Meets Hypnotoad

2010-04-06T20:35:00.002-04:00

This Idiot flashes his sparklers while posing with the revelers down at the South Street Seaport.

Here comes peter (the wolf) cottontail...

2010-04-04T10:02:00.002-04:00

Happy Spring! This Idiot is celebrating bunnies, chicks, and cookies with LOTS of butter.

Is that Potter's invisibility cloak?

2010-03-29T15:24:00.005-04:00

Apparently not. However, this Idiot thinks he's cleverly hidden.

I wish someone could explain to me why he does these things and then waits for me to go and get the camera and then take his idiotic picture.

(Alt. Title: Bride of Cujo)

Wednesday Morning Skirmish with... Wednesday

2010-03-19T22:27:00.000-04:00

This Idiot enjoys playing with dark-coated cutie, Wednesday, even though she's about a 10th of his age.

Not-so-Salty Dog

2010-03-18T22:24:00.000-04:00

This Idiot doesn't even know he's on a river pier, not an ocean pier. Here he is, shortly after daybreak, enjoying his morning skirmish with the locals on Pier 16.

Top o' the Mornin'

2010-03-17T22:29:00.001-04:00

Morning shenanigans on St. Patrick's Day near Pier 17.

Pizza Fake

2010-03-17T22:23:00.001-04:00

He's not snoozing, this Idiot just wants us to think he's snoozing. He was later caught opening the box with his snout.

Make Your Bed Already

2010-03-08T20:35:00.002-05:00

This Idiot likes turn-down service. Don't we all.

Like this? Is this right?

2010-03-07T17:00:00.003-05:00

What Are You Looking At?

2010-03-07T14:39:00.001-05:00

This Idiot thinks he still needs his Harlem attitude.

Please don't make me...

2010-03-06T11:21:00.001-05:00

...share a room with it!

2010-01-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

Hair of the Idiot

2010-01-02T15:36:00.002-05:00

Looks like this party hound could use a hair of his Idiot self. Good thing he had a gracious hostess so he didn't get beaten for making himself comfortable on the chaise.

Happy New Year from the Idiot!

Party-Bound Hound

2010-01-01T17:27:00.001-05:00

The Idiot rides with his head out the window of a yellow taxi on his way to a New Year's sleepover last night. He had a great time - we all did. Happy New Year, everyone!

Wheeee!

2009-12-22T21:56:00.001-05:00

No one can believe that this Idiot is eight years old when he's out there shredding it in the snow.

Lovin' It

2009-12-21T14:52:00.002-05:00

Hey, Idiot, what did you do with your other hind leg?

He loves the snow but it comes at a cost. I could salt an entire Celebrity Cruise Line's worth of margaritas with just the salt on our front steps. If you're interested in a spectacle - come watch me carry the Idiot down the brownstone steps. When he steps in salt he looks just like this picture - Waaaa!

C'mon Already

2009-12-21T09:32:00.000-05:00

This Idiot is afraid the snow will melt before we get to the dog run.

Fresh Powder!

2009-12-20T14:47:00.001-05:00

What do you love most about fresh snow?

23F and Snowy Outside

2009-12-20T11:39:00.002-05:00

And this Idiot is stuck in an 80F apartment.

He did, however, get a good long romp during the storm but conditions weren't good for photography. We'll get pics of him running around in Central Park today.

MuttLuks Are Out

2009-12-19T11:22:00.005-05:00

The Idiot is ready for the salt that comes with 6-9 inches of snow. With any luck, the salt budget, like every other budget, is smaller up here in Harlem and the Idiot won't have to be carried home.

The Idiot anxiously awaits the first flake and looks forward to doing his "Snow Plow" routine in the dog run. I think I'll take him to Central Park so he can go off leash and completely bananas.

UPDATE: The Idiot had to be carried for half a block because he was crippled by salt. And this was right in front of a group of guys hanging out in front of a bodega - so much for their ideas that Mishka is a fearsome beast.

More Idiocy from the Idiot

2009-12-17T18:47:00.002-05:00

The Idiot Friends the Cat

2009-12-16T21:24:00.002-05:00

Patience is for Sissies

2009-12-15T22:17:00.001-05:00

Why not open all of your presents right now like this Idiot?

Snack-Happy Robot-Killer

2009-12-14T20:35:00.002-05:00

Luckily his taste for robots was satisfied by chewing up a Weebot so he has left our fleet of Roombas and Scoobas to go about their tasks unmolested.

Door Mat Dog

2009-12-13T00:47:00.002-05:00

This idiot thinks that no one will be able to leave the apartment without him if he hangs out by the shoes and coats. One thing wrong with his plan. He needs to stay awake.

Double the Pleasure

2009-12-13T00:43:00.004-05:00

This? In front of the mirror? Really?

Idiot.

LOST DOG

2009-12-07T19:32:00.003-05:00

Answers to Idiot (and any other name accompanied by a MilkBone).

Third Bedroom

2009-12-05T23:39:00.002-05:00

It's not the bath mat that draws the Idiot into the tub, it's the small space. Or this crazy thing drives him to withdrawal. Either way, we now officially live in a three-bedroom apartment.

The Princess and The Pea-Brain

2009-12-03T21:05:00.001-05:00

The nap in the tub was not a one-shot deal. It seems that the Idiot likes to go in the tub if the bath mat is in it, sort of.

No Words

2009-11-29T00:43:00.000-05:00

Sharing is Caring

2009-11-26T09:25:00.002-05:00

The Idiot watches as the pinhead helps himself to Idiot kibble. It's Thanksgiving and the Idiot is thankful to have a new friend; he loves the cat.

The Idiot Outted as a Drunk!

2009-11-24T19:48:00.002-05:00

Buying Bacardi Anejo at an El Barrio Harlem liquor store tonight, The Idiot was recognized, by the beautiful, talented, and art-loving Lourdes Jeannette (not pictured here). Thanks for saying hello, Lourdes!

Do you think the Little Idiot would sit like that if he knew how HUGE his ass looked? My God, he looks like the Grinch Who Ate Christmas. I'm going to refer to him as Pinhead from now on, FYI.

There's Only One Couch

2009-11-22T23:39:00.001-05:00

And the Idiot shouldn't be on it.

Act Natural (OMG, he's right there!)

2009-11-21T10:40:00.000-05:00

Soyuz-Apollo

2009-11-20T19:23:00.002-05:00

The Idiot is home and he's met his new boss, the Little Idiot.

I am disappointed how well they've been getting along so far, but I can see that Nova (the Little Idiot) has been pulling punches. Once he lets those fly and goes on attack, we're in for a show. I will keep the camera at the ready.

Welcome home, dummy! We missed you!

(Thanks to Cornell for taking such good care of The Idiot.)

"That's My Bench Fry!"

2009-11-15T22:06:00.001-05:00

NYC Marathoner Doesn't Give Up, Finishes in 14 Days

2009-11-14T14:28:00.002-05:00

Idiot. He probably could've come in at about 6 hours if he'd left the footwear at home.

Image courtesy of Cornell and his girl.

Kangaroos Need Love Too

2009-11-14T14:24:00.001-05:00

Or do they?

He's No Scent Hound...

2009-11-08T12:20:00.001-05:00

...or he'd have passed out by now.

He finds this a comfortable way to 'rest'. Weirdo.

Image (and room and board) courtesy of Cornell.

The Other Idiot

2009-10-08T21:50:00.002-04:00

When The (Original) Idiot gets home he may get dumbed down by this creature, The Genius in a Plastic Bag. No, we didn't put it on him. He thought it would be a good idea to go sit in a plastic bag left on the floor and this is the result of his attempt to get out of it. Cat/bag adage joke anyone?

What Fire? The Idiot Sees an Uncooked Burger

2009-09-26T11:45:00.005-04:00

You won't see this Idiot riding around on fire trucks any time soon. You may, however, see him sitting on the lawn in front of what's left of a charred house.

Mmmm, condensation!

Photos by Seth Barr.

What the...?

2009-09-16T19:40:00.002-04:00

Apparently Hugh Hefner is enjoying Ft. Greene. Maybe next week we'll see a photo of him in a satin robe making his way to the hot-tub with a couple of honeys.

"So I says to this dumb horse..."

2009-09-14T22:29:00.002-04:00

...Oh, wait, he's right behind me isn't he?"

(Photo and 'joke' credit go to The Idiot's current host in Ft. Greene who probably wants to remain nameless. We'll see.)

Yes, We Can Still See You, Idiot

2009-09-12T22:41:00.002-04:00

Maybe it would be tough in the dark, but we live in NYC, pal, where it never gets dark (expect for that time in August 2003 but even then your smell and relentless whining gave you away). So, no matter how closely you match the dirt, we can still see you, even at night.

The Idiot Due to Return By Month's End

2009-09-06T17:46:00.002-04:00

The Idiot will slowly be working his way through Brooklyn on his way back to Manhattan. He should be back here by October 1st after a few weeks' work as a tick magnet in Ft. Greene.

The Idiot Still Enjoying Brooklyn

2009-08-02T10:37:00.000-04:00

Batter Up!

2009-06-27T21:49:00.003-04:00

This idiot's going to make a cake. With a spatula he stole from a grumpy swan.

In fact he might be busy baking for a few weeks. He's gone to Brooklyn to stay with a friend for a while so this blog might be going on a bit of a summer break.

Laser Precision

2009-06-23T21:36:00.002-04:00

This idiot has really good aim with the wet shake. He can drench a pair of Converse from ten yards away.

If you look closely, you can see he has one eye open. That's how he does it. He cheats.

Beware of Sand Fleas

2009-06-23T09:57:00.002-04:00

Now that it's summer (uh?) this idiot is all about the beach. And sand fleas. And ticks. And any other piggy-backing parasite I don't want in my house.

Cast Off, Quick

2009-06-21T21:42:00.003-04:00

"Wait up, guys. I forgot my towel."

Let's cast him off while this idiot goes to fetch a nasty old wet towel that smells almost as bad as he does.

King in His Castle

2009-06-19T13:29:00.002-04:00

Give him some white tile, a light breeze from an alley window, and a tight squeeze between the sink and tub and this idiot is in heaven. Must be nice being so simple.

Nose Out of Joint

2009-06-18T12:32:00.002-04:00

As if he could actually pick up scents more subtle than month-old bacon, this idiot puts his nose out of joint.

Put it back, you creep, you look like Yogi bear sniffing out a picnic basket.

He's Earless

2009-06-17T14:46:00.001-04:00

This idiot went for a dip in the East River and lost his ears.

Go Fetch! Go fetch your ears, dummy!

Weenie! Get in There!

2009-06-16T11:04:00.002-04:00

This idiot grimaces at the water's edge because he's afraid of the deep. If he could hold his nose before jumping in he would.

He makes a HUGE production of pacing and whining before FINALLY jumping and then, as soon as he's in, he paddles frantically looking for a way out. Weenie.

Idiot X-ing

2009-06-15T20:19:00.002-04:00

So much for looking both ways before you cross. And so much for keeping your hands, feet, and tongue inside the vehicle while in motion. No wonder there's a leash law.

One minute of freedom on Randall's Island and this idiot broke every law ever made - including the one about not soaking your owner's sneakers by shaking out copious amounts of the East River from your nasty fur coat.

Guard Dog Extraordinaire

2009-06-14T23:45:00.002-04:00

Oh, yeah. Napping on the job.

This idiot thinks there aren't at least six other dogs just waiting for the call to replace his narcoleptic a**. There's no dog union. There are no dog rights. Either bark and howl or step aside for a dog who will.

Beaver Balls

2009-06-13T01:28:00.001-04:00

In the olden days idiocy was allegedly treated by rubbing beaver testicles on the forehead of the afflicted. This idiot would likely try to eat or lick such a treatment.

The whole treat-idiocy-with-beaver-balls sounds like a bad joke, even if it originated in the 16th century. Which smart guy with a throbbing sense of irony came up with that regimen? And why was it repeated often enough to become a practice?

Thanks, Cornell.

Urinator

2009-06-12T13:22:00.002-04:00

This idiot tends to fall while peeing. He also pees on his own foot, will pee on his leash (if I am not being totally diligent), and will try to pee on anything at the Farmer's Market (people, food, plants) but of course I don't let him.

Two Dufuses

2009-06-11T08:40:00.002-04:00

Nothing like a Wheaton pup to give an old dog a work out. This idiot is thinking about Gatorade.

Swamp Rat Prince

2009-06-08T10:58:00.003-04:00

After swamping around in the Harlem Meer all afternoon, this idiot erroneously believes he is allowed up on the couch simply because he's tired. And because he thinks he's been 'bathed.' Far from it.

The princely touch of laying his head on a silk satin pillow really takes the cake.

The Real Ankle-Biters

2009-06-06T10:28:00.003-04:00

Because he's part shepherd this idiot nips the ankles of critters he's trying to herd. I don't think he'd nip the ankle of another ankle-biter though.

Dognut

2009-06-04T13:39:00.001-04:00

When he curls up on the bathmat, this idiot looks like a cinnamon doughnut on a blue napkin.

Vicious Ladybug Pointer

2009-06-02T22:02:00.003-04:00

Hot on the trail of an imaginary ant, this idiot isn't fooling anyone with those focused ears and that curled front paw - we know he couldn't track a hot dog cart. But I give him some credit for getting the pose right.

Ice Age Idiot

2009-06-01T19:55:00.003-04:00

Looks like Scrat, the idiot from the Ice Age movies, paid us a visit. Oh, nope, that's my idiot. He looks just like the famous rich one who chases acorns on the big screen.

Uh, is This Good? Like This?

2009-05-28T00:12:00.002-04:00

This idiot is an idiot. And I am a bigger idiot for telling him to get on the table. At least he takes his work seriously and doesn't break role. Meanwhile, I can't stop laughing at him because he looks so ridiculous posing like an artist's model. What artist? Sucker.

Pen & Yeller

2009-05-26T13:08:00.003-04:00

Look who's trying to take credit for my art work? Not content just being a stupid muse, this idiot wants people to think he can hold a pen. And that he's allowed on the drawing table. Not!

Get down, you brat. No, I don't care that I told you to get up there.

Oh, Very Funny

2009-05-25T17:58:00.003-04:00

Yeah, that joke was a good one. A real knee-slapper. This idiot thinks we're laughing with him. Not really. I'm just hoping to find a two-by-four in time to prop his mouth open for a few hours. Now *that* would be funny.

Photo by Jen Minary. All Rights Reserved.